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How To Conquer Public Speaking Fear How To Conquer Public Speaking Fear
How To Conquer Public Speaking Fear? See how it is very easy to public speaking! Public speaking is a common source of stress for everyone. Many of us would like to avoid this problem entirely, but this is hard to do. Whether we work alone or with large numbers of people, eventually we will need to speak in public to get certain tasks accomplished. And if we want to be leaders or achieve anything meaningful in our lives, we will often need to speak to groups, large and small, to be successful. The truth about public speaking, however, is IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE STRESSFUL! If you correctly understand the hidden causes of public speaking stress, and if you keep just a few key principles in mind, speaking in public will soon become an invigorating and satisfying experience for you.
10 Key Principles to hep how to conquer public speaking fear
Principle #1--Speaking in Public is NOT Inherently Stressful Most of us believe parts of life are inherently stressful. In fact, most of us have been taught to believe that life as a whole is very stressful! To deal with any type of stress effectively, you first must understand that life itself, including public speaking, is NOT inherently stressful. Thousands of human beings have learned to speak in front of groups with little or no stress at all. Many of these people were initially terrified to speak in public. Their knees would shake, their voices would tremble, their thoughts would become jumbled . . . you know the rest. Yet they learned to eliminate their fear of public speaking completely. You are no more or less human than they are. If they can conquer the fear of public speaking, so can you! It just takes the right guiding principles, the right understanding, and the right plan of action to make this goal a reality. Principle #2--You Don't have to be Brilliant or Perfect to Succeed Many of us have observed public speakers and thought to ourselves "Wow, I could never be that smart, calm, witty, entertaining, polished . . . or whatever." Well, I've got news for you-- you don't have to be brilliant, witty, or perfect to succeed. That is not what public speaking is all about. I know it may look that way, but it's not. You can be average. You can be below average. You can make mistakes, get tongue-tied, or forget whole segments of your talk. You can even tell no jokes at all and still be successful. The essence of public speaking is this: give your audience something of value. That's all there is to it. If people in your audience walk away with something (anything) of value, they will consider you a success. If they walk away feeling better about themselves, feeling better about some job they have to do, they will consider you a success. If they walk away feeling happy or entertained, they will consider their time with you worthwhile. Principle #3--All You Need is Two or Three Main Points You don't have to deliver mountains of facts or details to give your audience what they truly want. Many studies have shown that people remember very few of the facts or information speakers convey. While you may choose to include lots of facts and information, you only need to make two or three main points to have your talk be successful. You can even have your whole talk be about only one key point, if you wish. Principle #4--You also Need a Purpose That is Right for the Task This principle is very important . . . so please listen up. One big mistake people make when they speak in public is they have the wrong purpose in mind. Often, they have no specific purpose in mind, but the one that is operating within them unconsciously causes a whole lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. This is a prime example of what I call a "hidden cause" of public speaking stress. When I first started speaking in public, I thought my purpose was to get everyone in the audience to approve of me. I mistakenly thought that this was what good public speakers try to do. I wasn't consciously aware of this purpose, nor how foolish it was, but it was there nonetheless. The truth about public speaking is no matter how good a job you do . . . someone is going to disapprove of either you or your argument. That is just human nature. In a large group of people, there will always be a diversity of opinions, judgments, and reactions. Some will be positive, others will be negative. There is no rhyme or reason to it. If you do a lousy job, some people will sympathize with you and feel for you, while others will critique you harshly. If you do a fantastic job, someone will resent your ability and might disapprove of you on that basis alone. Some people will leave early because of an emergency. Some will fall asleep because they were up all night taking care of a sick child. Therefore, it's foolish and unrealistic to attempt to get everyone in your audience to think well of you. Principle #5--The Best Way to Succeed is Not to consider Yourself a Public Speaker! While it may seem paradoxical, the best way to succeed as a public speaker is not to consider yourself a public speaker at all. Many of us have distorted, exaggerated views of what successful public speakers do. We often assume that to be successful ourselves, we must strive very hard to bring forth certain idealistic qualities we presently lack. Consequently, we struggle desperately to emulate those personal characteristics of other speakers which we wrongly believe are responsible for their public speaking success. In other words, we try to become someone other than ourselves! We try to be a public speaker, whatever that image means to us. The truth about public speaking is that most successful speakers got that way by doing just the opposite! They didn't try to be like somebody else. They just gave themselves permission to be themselves in front of other people. And much to their surprise, they discovered how much fun they could have doing something most other people dread. Principle #6--Humility and Humor Can Go a Long Way While each person will eventually find his or her style of public speaking, certain maneuvers can be used by almost everyone. Two of these, humility and humor, can go a long way to making your talks more enjoyable and entertaining for your audience. Humor is well understood by most of us, so little needs to be said about it here. If being humorous feels comfortable for you, or if it fits your speaking situation, go for it. It usually works, even if you don't do it perfectly. By humility, I mean standing up in front of others and sharing some of your own human frailties, weaknesses, and mistakes. We all have weaknesses, you know, and when you stand up in front of others and show that you're not afraid to admit yours, you create a safe, intimate climate where others can acknowledge their personal shortcomings as well. Principle #7--When You Speak in Public, Nothing "Bad" Can Ever Happen! One thing that adds to the fear of public speaking is the dread people have that something awful, terrible, or publicly humiliating will happen to them. What if I pass out from nervous exhaustion? What if I forget everything I intended to say and am left standing there, totally speechless? What if the audience hates me and begins throwing things at me? What if they all get up and leave after the first ten minutes? What if they snipe at me with harsh questions or comments once I'm done? What if someone in the audience tries to turn the group against me? If people get up and start to head for the door, I can stop what I'm doing and ask for feedback. Was there something about my topic, my style, or my manner of presentation that was offensive to them? Were they simply in the wrong room at the start and didn't know it? Did someone misinform them about what my talk was going to cover? Principle #8--You Don't Have to Control the Behavior of Your Audience To succeed as a public speaker, you don't have to control the behavior of your audience. There are certain things you do need to control--your own thoughts, your preparation, arrangements for audio-visual aids, how the room is laid out--but one thing you don't have to control is your audience. They will do whatever they do, and whatever they do will usually be "perfect." If people are fidgety or restless, don't try to control this. If someone is talking to a neighbor, or reading the newspaper, or falling asleep, leave them alone. If people look like they aren't paying attention, refrain from chastising them. Unless someone is being intentionally disruptive, there is very little you need to control. Thinking you need to change or control other people is a hidden cause of stress in many areas of life. This is just as true for relating to a group as it is for relating to your friends, spouse, children, or other acquaintances. Principle #9--In General, the More You Prepare, the Worse You Will Do Preparation is useful for any public appearance. How you prepare, however, and how much time you need to spend are other matters entirely. Many of the errors in thinking we've discussed so far often creep in to people's strategies for preparation. If you have the wrong focus (i.e., purpose), if you try to do too much, if you want everyone to applaud your every word, if you fear something bad might happen or you might make a minor mistake, then you can easily drive yourself crazy trying to over prepare your talk. In these instances, the more effort you put in, the worse you probably will do. Over preparation usually means you either don't know your subject well or you do, but you don't feel confident about your ability to speak about it in public. In the former instance, you'll need to do some extra research. In the latter, you'll need to develop trust in your natural ability to speak successfully. The only way to do this is to put yourself in the spotlight, over and over again. Principle #10--Your Audience Truly Wants You to Succeed The last principle to remember is that your audience truly wants you to succeed. Most of them are scared to death of public speaking, just like you. They know the risk of embarrassment, humiliation, and failure you take every time you present yourself in public. They feel for you. They will admire your courage. And they will be on your side, no matter what happens. This means that most audiences are truly forgiving. While a slip of the tongue or a mistake of any kind might seem a big deal to you, it's not very meaningful or important to your audience. Their judgments and appraisals will usually be much more lenient than yours. It's useful to remind yourself of this point, especially when you think you've performed poorly. From:www.uvl.edu
How To Conquer Public Speaking Fear? See how it is very easy to public speaking!
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